Community & saying goodbye

I live in a community. A southern community at that. My urban friend Elizabeth shared an article with me by Allison Glock in Garden & Gun (which is a great magazine by the way). It is entitled "Southern Women". In it she says, "I want my children to know they belong to something bigger than themselves. That they are unique, but they are not alone. That there is continuity where they come from. Comfort too." I saw that in spades today. My community buried a beautiful nineteen year old girl. I sat in a church packed to the brim. Full of neighbors with different walks of faith, different socioeconomic backgrounds, different ages. It was the truest form of southern comfort.

A few years ago a friend shared an article by Anna Quindlen (an amazing author). She said, "I no longer consider myself the center of the universe. I show up. I listen. I try to laugh.". Showing up is important. I sat among a throng today that showed up. I am blessed to have an intimate circle that continually shows up in my life. One of my fav films of all time "Lars & the Real Girl" has a pivotal scene where some women respond to Lars question of, "Shouldn't we be doing something?" with "We show up & we sit.". Showing up is important.

The people who show up in my life do so via phone, in person or handwritten notes. Showing up, really showing up, counts. I know my neighbors' names, details (perhaps too many, although I don't think so) of their lives. My children are being raised surrounded by this. They know they are special, unique but NEVER alone. Showing up counts. It makes a community...it changes lives....

Silence and my Abileen leaves....

Last Saturday I attended a conference called Soul Care. I found out from big girl #1 that it was really a silence retreat. If I had known that I would have not signed up!!! But I was in for a huge surprise. It was amazing. We do not have a culture that values silence and slowing down. I think I feared silence. What would I learn about myself? What would I learn about God? I left with a commitment to daily silence & totally slowing down. Funny how facing fears tears them down....

"You is kind. You is smart. You is important." That is the great quote from the movie "The Help". I have had an Abileen in my life....sweet Beth. She moved to Houston yesterday. I know I have a cell phone,skpe,FaceTime,yada yada yada. But she is not 10 minutes away. She gave me the gift of fearlessness. She made me believe things about myself I never thought possible. My heart is heavy....

I am at the beach with John Stroud sans kids. We have been married twenty-three years. We so can do slow & laid back. I can sit on the beach for hours. He can ride a bike for hours. We can read in silence. We can see movies & eat good food together. We used to think we had to do EVERYTHING together. Being married this long has taught us the ebb & flow of being alone & supportive & together. I love being here with him....

Read The Help. Read Unbroken. Go see the movie with your Abileen & tell her/him you love them....

Some things cannot be faked....

What a ten days it has been. I went to see a friend in rehab. She opened her most private journal to me. There was light in her eyes and a glow to her skin. She is in recovery. Some things you cannot fake....

I saw "Midnight in Paris" and "Stupid Crazy Love". "Midnight" deals with denial of our present due to longing of our past. Been there. Check. "Stupid" deals with being yourself- your TRUE self. Been there. Check. Some things you cannot fake....

I am overwhelmed by melancholy. Sweet Beth leaves soon. There is something scary going on with a lot of teenagers around me. They are sad to their core. Somethings you just cannot fake...

There is a peace in the midst and for that my heart feels lighter...somethings you cannot fake....