Lately I have been an Instagram & Facebook fiend to share pictures of my travels with my out of town peeps. I enjoyed the comments and the love but it hit me like a freezing shower when I posted the following quote: "your value doesn't decrease based on someone's inability to see your worth".
It obviously hit a chord. Everyone obviously has a story.
I love my friends. I sometimes stare at the amazing, eclectic batch of people who make up my "innermost circle" and cannot believe these people love me. The one hushed secret that really is not that secret is several of these people do not share my faith, my political views, my sexuality. And the sometimes frightening thing is the people who do not share my faith sometimes love me better than those who do. It has made me think. As it started to really harden my heart, John Stroud made a startlingly clear observation: I have a large circle that if I go down, they will show up. That's the blessing- they all would show up. Regardless of our differences- they show up.
It still unsettles me that sometimes the "evangelicals" shoot their own wounded more than any other group. Does it mean they all do? No. I guess I have set them up to a higher standard but my core belief is we are all lost and all in this mess together so therefore, they shouldn't behave any differently. So maybe my vision is part of my issue.
I saw Alan Cumming do "Macbeth" solo on stage. He could convey all those characters in under two hours. It was amazing. I'm an obsessed fan. But there's my point: we all play characters and we all are capable of turning on a dime. That includes me.
"Someone's opinion of you does not have to become your reality". Let's all say a hearty amen.
Saturday, May 18, 2013
Sunday, May 12, 2013
The end of wanderlusty mommy
The past two years have been unusual in my travel world. I've gone places and done things I never thought I would. Recently a mutual Facebook friend of mine and big girl number one mentioned some of Annabanana 's pix made her all wanderlusty. It got me thinking.
I thought at eighteen I needed to go far away, be different, see the world. I was wrong. I went to the school down the road that changed my life for good. The people I needed where there, not a world away.
My two big girls have been far away and doing exciting things. People constantly ask if I'm so proud or if I'm scared. Both are true but I'm more proud. Allow me this on Mother's Day, it's not where they have been or what they are "doing with their lives" that makes me proud, what makes me proud is the women they are, the way they love each other, have each others' backs and cheer each other on to big things. Today at lunch they went around telling me why they loved me. Tay admitted she didn't want to say in youth group "my mom teaches yoga and is hip". We all laughed. I loved it. Annabanana said she loves how I go into attack mode if someone is mean to her. Beebs said I'm just so caring and there. Sal misses me. My girls have fulfilled my old wanderlusty desires on so many levels.
Recently someone told me several reasons why they could not, nor wanted to be my friend. It's a hard pill to swallow. I keep saying all the Al-Anon things I know to be true (someone's opinion of you does not make it your reality,etc,etc). Today I saw my life, my loves, my story and it was good. It was safe. It was true.
Whenever any Stroud mentions our NYC Elizabeth, everyone says "I love her so much". She suggested a movie. "Safety Not Guaranteed". Watch it. There is a quote in the end that summed this all up to me. My girls. John Stroud. My travels. Meeting Alan Cumming (I'm his biggest fan if you didn't know). My story. And this is it-
"To go it alone or to go it with a partner....when you choose a partner you have compromises & sacrifices, but it is a price you pay. Do I want to follow every whim & desire I have as I make my way through time & space? Absolutely. But at the end of the day, do I need someone who when it gets hot has my back? I do."
Wanderlust came at the right time, as did the right peeps.
I thought at eighteen I needed to go far away, be different, see the world. I was wrong. I went to the school down the road that changed my life for good. The people I needed where there, not a world away.
My two big girls have been far away and doing exciting things. People constantly ask if I'm so proud or if I'm scared. Both are true but I'm more proud. Allow me this on Mother's Day, it's not where they have been or what they are "doing with their lives" that makes me proud, what makes me proud is the women they are, the way they love each other, have each others' backs and cheer each other on to big things. Today at lunch they went around telling me why they loved me. Tay admitted she didn't want to say in youth group "my mom teaches yoga and is hip". We all laughed. I loved it. Annabanana said she loves how I go into attack mode if someone is mean to her. Beebs said I'm just so caring and there. Sal misses me. My girls have fulfilled my old wanderlusty desires on so many levels.
Recently someone told me several reasons why they could not, nor wanted to be my friend. It's a hard pill to swallow. I keep saying all the Al-Anon things I know to be true (someone's opinion of you does not make it your reality,etc,etc). Today I saw my life, my loves, my story and it was good. It was safe. It was true.
Whenever any Stroud mentions our NYC Elizabeth, everyone says "I love her so much". She suggested a movie. "Safety Not Guaranteed". Watch it. There is a quote in the end that summed this all up to me. My girls. John Stroud. My travels. Meeting Alan Cumming (I'm his biggest fan if you didn't know). My story. And this is it-
"To go it alone or to go it with a partner....when you choose a partner you have compromises & sacrifices, but it is a price you pay. Do I want to follow every whim & desire I have as I make my way through time & space? Absolutely. But at the end of the day, do I need someone who when it gets hot has my back? I do."
Wanderlust came at the right time, as did the right peeps.
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