Mono take two

So baby girl as mono which she caught from daughter number three. In the past week I have seen friends lose every earthly possession. I have walked in areas I would swear are movie sets. I have seen and heard stories I never thought would happen in my community.

It has made me take a lot of stock. What do I REALLY value? I mean REALLY. I have found I love my leisure, my space, and my schedule. Sick children interfere with that. Sounds harsh as a mom. Know big girl one & two will read this (love that big girl number one & friends claim to devour this blog). I hope they know I love them to the moon & back. But so much of motherhood has caught me by surprise....the depth of love I feel...the fierceness with which I protect....how quickly I can take people down to protect.....how easily I can plot the demise of bullies....the sheer exhaustion....the joy...the heartache.

I am a blessed woman. Make no mistake, I know it. I am passionate about my family & my part time job. I get paid to do something I am passionate about that I also believe changes lives. It gives me an identity outside my girls & John Stroud. I think this is good for the five of them because they will never be responsible for my fulfillment or happiness. I think it gives them freedom to live, breathe, dream, be apart from me knowing I support & applaud them but need not "grip" them. That is my hope at least....I have money saved for therapy in case I am wrong.

I am blessed with friends who know me to my core & still love me. One friend gave me a sign that hangs in my bedroom: My friends have made the story of my life. They have. Today alone, Paramore, Nancy & sweet Beth were on the phone, computer, in person. Annabeth continues to be my cheerleader. These are irreplaceables...I know I value.

If my "things" are gone am I ok? I have seen evidence of people this week with a knowledge of a living God that allows them to be ok. I have seen different walks of people bond together. I pray our nation does not forget the devastation here. But we all know, the news will fade but the rebuilding will not.

I want to get all my babies under one roof and squeeze them all. It can all change in a moment. Maybe being homebound with mono is not so bad....