The first day of sit popping, Angie the American missionary on staff asked me to help a nine year old girl named Michela who was embarrassed by the bumps on her face. I was nervous because unlike the little ones I knew she would realize I was hurting her and it would kill me but I agreed because Angie said she so wanted the bumps gone. I knew it must be killing her as molluscum take deep popping. She said not a word until I was done and then said "thank you" in perfect English and threw her arms around my waist. I burst into tears and kissed her and told her she was beautiful.
Last night when we were driving to our hotel Beebe said she was most concerned about a nine year old. She said her name was Michela. Beebe shared she did not love me loving on "my" baby Felder- the five month old the size of a newborn. She shared she had to know if Michela had an adoptive family. Carlee shared her birth mother would not sign off on adoption but her father had. Many tears followed. Michela has a four year old brother. So if seems hopeless as Michela knows all her friends have places to go, moms with means. She begs to be adopted. We held her today and said our goodbyes. I held Felder and held his nanny and thanked her.
I have never walked in poverty but I have now seen it. I have fallen for these children. I left every material possession I could in Haiti. But mostly I left a piece of my heart. And it hurts. I know I will return....don't know when but know I will. I don't want my heart fixed. I want it to stay broken so I never forget the Michelas and the Felders....
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