Thursday, March 24, 2011

heroes, big girls, and second homes

A few friends asked why I had not told some of the stories about why John Stroud is one of my heroes. The amazing Sally the 17 year old big girl, reminded me about it the last night we were in my second home, NYC.

Seven years ago, John was comfortable at his job. Our lives were full of all we thought we wanted and hoped our life could be. Suddenly his company was moving to Dallas. We went to visit. We visited the church our pastor suggested, we visited a school, we looked at houses. It was scary. Most of all it was scary because our girls were so happy. They had friends and loved our community and our church and their school. Dallas was very cosmopolitan and fast and not our girls' current existence. John made the hard decision to take a severance package and find a new job. Everyone acts like I was brave also. I was not brave, I had John Stroud in my corner. Our girls were overjoyed. John Stroud then was happy to take a job making less than he made coming out of grad school. I really do not know any men who take steps down in life. He did it so happily to keep his girls here in their community. He has since risen through the ranks and been promoted to a level worthy of his character. The other thing is he chose to really grow as a man and get to know me and his girls and make our family the amazing place it is. Men are attached to their titles and what they do, John Stroud decided to make US the priority. Love him. Admire him. He is the best. Just one story for now...

So big girl Sal is looking at NYC as a real possibility for school. Big girl Anna is going to Spain for summer. I always wanted this for them...at 6...at 12...but now....it sucks. I worry about being sold to sex trade (seen "Taken" lately?), or going home with wrong crowd, or leaving us for good. I love them. Who knew mommy love before they experienced it? It is all encompassing. My mom was with me & Sal on NYC trip. She still worries about me. I chose to walk home from my play the last night on our trip. It was a beautiful night. NYC is alive at 10:40 at night. It is beautiful and a 30 minute walk sounded so great. It scared her. I found it crazy but then it hit me...I am HER baby. Which makes me think, I always wanted to go to NYC to live. Is this Sal's dream? Is it mine? Is Spain great because ANna wants it or on some level do I want their dreams to match mine? Whoa. That is a lot to think about. I want the best for them right? OR do I want big dreams for both of us?

I do feel NYC is my second home. One summer I am gonna rent an apartment and live there. Don't know when but soon....People tell me all the time I should always start a business of doing NYC tours. Sounds great but could I do it for $ when doing it for love of my big girl and my mom is trying enough? Maybe....if the price is right....

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