I think it is probably only fair to say why I lobe the Oscars so much. Yes my parents loved the arts- all kinds but this is embarassing so here goes....I wanted to be a movie star. Yep. I did. I grew up and got a little wiser and thought I could not make it in film but I could be Jane Pauley on the Today Show.
Worked hard at Auburn (War Eagle!) and thought I might could get into graduate school at Northwestern where Jane went. To make me go on a blind date with someone, my mom said ,"he went to Northwester". She did not even know said man, he was the son of a friend. I went. C+ date at best. He asked to call me at school that week. He did. A+ date. I told my daddy I was gonna marry him. Close door on Northwestern. Open door on marriage.
I struggled with a severe eating disorder in college. I was an open walking wound. It resurfaced big time six months into our marriage as did the deepest, most suicidal depression. I ended up in the hospital. Do not play the "our first year of marriage sucked" game with us. We always win. Close door on happy,perfect marriage. Open door on brokenness and healing.
The type of eating disorder I had should have made me infertile. Close door on great fear. Open door on four amazing young girls.
Years of God healing wound after wound. Great therapy. Great doctors. Close door on gaping hole in soul. Open door on wholeness.
Just so you realize God is not finished here, he never is this side of heaven....I still struggle with wanting every human being to looooooove me & approve of me. I over-personalize a lot & have way too strong a sense of justice for everyone but me & John & my girls. Recent example...I became a runner in 2001 because be love Kristy got a running group up with the amazing Liz & Andrea. We started with 10k's and worked our way up to a full 26.2 marathon. I loved running...I love those women more. In 2009 I had to have my entire bladder support system rebuilt due to my past abuse from the eating disorder. Close door on running. Open door on yoga.
I set out to be a yoga rock star. I was gonna be the bomb. I trained, I took seminars, gave up weeks of time. There was no room at inn at the time I was coming along but there was this opportunity to teach classes at blue cross blue shield. I jumped on that, anxious to start. I did not know that those classes and those beautiful people would become the greatest job in my 23 year fitness career history. Close door on a rock star with a mic. Open window on pure blessing.
Life is never easy but I am thankful His window opening power is always evident to me.
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